IS A KISS STILL NEWSWORTHY?

Last week at some country music award show, a member of a brother duo got up and kissed his boyfriend after winning Best Group. The “lite” news sources—the kind that pop up on Yahoo—were all over it. I gullibly clicked, thinking it would be something momentous…on stage or something passionate, with tongue maybe. Nope. A peck. Like Blake Shelton might kiss Gwen Stefani or Keith Urban might kiss Nicole Kidman if either of them had won something.

 

It got me wondering. When will we get to the point where a kiss is just a kiss? Man on man, woman on woman, nonbinary on whoever. 

 

I’m just as guilty as anyone for getting sucked in based on context. Last week’s momentous smack was in the country music milieu, watched by millions of country music fans, people we assume to be more Red State than Blue, more conservative than liberal, more beer drinkin’, pickup drivin’, good ol’ boys than bow-tied chess players who ponder giving up fois gras. 

 

Yep, bro. That dude kissed a dude. Guzzle another Bud, let that sink in.

 

Really, this shouldn’t be news, not even on a news-lite site.

 

According to Wikipedia, the first cinematic man-to-man kiss was almost a century ago, in the movie “Wings” in 1927. (It’s a bit of a miss and the men talk of their “friendship” but, yeah it counts. Watch the clip—the build-up, the eye contact, the hands in each other’s hair...)

 

There was a much-hyped 1989 episode of TV’s “thirtysomething” in which two gay characters were shown in bed together but weren’t allowed to touch. It resulted in boycotts and a significant loss in advertising money for ABC. High stakes. The stakes have been lessening with each subsequent glimpse of togetherness. Laura Dern hugged Ellen, Madonna kissed Britney…and Christina, Katy Perry and Jill Sobule each sang about kissing a girl, hell, by the time Pete Buttigieg started giving his husband, Chasten, little pecks, it barely caused a peep from even the most vile conservative talking pieces who make a living off intentionally boneheaded banter. 

 

There was a time when every teensy bit of public gayness involving a celebrity made headlines and was enthusiastically applauded by all of us under the LGBTQ rainbow. Greg Louganis is gay! Ellen makes the cover of Time! Melissa Etheridge! Sir Ian McKellen! kd lang! Will and Jack are lead characters on a mainstream hit TV show! George Michael! Doogie Howser! Clay Aiken! Adam Lambert! Ricky Martin! Well, golly…Jim Nabors! Jim Parsons…Bazinga! 

 

In North America at least, we’re down to the last bastions. T.J. Osborne from Brothers Osborne isn’t the first country artist to come out as queer, but he’s apparently the first out gay man in country music signed to a major record label, publicly coming out in Time in February this year. (While delving into gay moments in country music, I stumbled upon an online mention of the self-titled “Lavender Country” as being the first gay country album, released in 1973. The track list includes a twangy waltz called “Cryin’ These Cocksucking Tears.” Um…pretty sure they never performed on “Hee Haw” or got an invite to the Grand Ole Opry, but maybe now Kenny Chesney will do a remake.)  

 

Yes, I’m glad T.J. kissed his boyfriend, a gesture that’s so conventional for other award winners. I do think it will offer comfort, maybe inspiration, to closeted queers who listen to country music and wonder if they’ll be accepted should they choose to come out. The bigger news—which didn’t fit into a click-worthy headline—was that The Brothers Osborne sang “Younger Me” at the Country Music Awards, with T.J. prefacing the performance by saying, “I would watch this show year after year and I always thought how incredible it’d be of a dream it’d be of being up on this stage. There were so many things that were so many hurdles for me and I always felt, truthfully felt, like it would never be possible because of my sexuality to be here and I just wish, I wish, my younger me could see me now.” 

 

The lyrics to “Younger Me” are rather bland, watered down as so many pop songs so that a large mass of people can find them relatable. But still, there’s enough there for young queers to latch onto and offer strength:

 

Younger me…

Always dreamed of kicking down the door

What were you waiting for?

 

Younger me

Overthinking, losing sleep at night

Contemplating if it’s worth the fight

 

Younger me

Hanging out but not quite fitting in

Didn’t know that being different

Really wouldn’t be the end.

 

Like I said, bland. But a listener who knows the lyrics are sung by an out gay man will read more into it and see himself in the song. The video also adds more (rainbow) colours.

 

There it is, a breakthrough in country music. About time. (It reminds me of all the press last year for Mickey Guyton’s “Black Like Me” and the prime spot she got performing on this year’s Grammy Awards ceremony.) Congratulations, country music. 

 

The time has passed for public kisses and coming outs in untrod territories to excite me. These moments feel like they’re very late arrivals to the Pride party. We’re still waiting for other breakthroughs on final frontiers. There have been recent ripples in football, soccer and hockey. More work to be done there. Embarrassingly, tennis remains a holdout for a prominent male player to come out. Many women have come out—I still remember the years when commentators stumbled over how to acknowledge Martina Navratilova’s then-partner, Judy Nelson, in the family-and-friends box. I don’t follow golf or wrestling so I don’t know whether there are openly queer competitors. I don’t even have enough interest to Google those fields. What other domains are there?  

 

Yes, it takes someone to step forward and be the first. That’s still courageous, making something personal public. But we’re at a point where it says more about the field than the individual that a kiss or saying, “I’m gay” warrants a headline. Applause? Okay, for the individual. But, with regard to that person’s domain of notoriety, all I can say is, “What took you so long?”