Yes, it’s summer. I know that means warmer temperatures. I know that in many cultures, that means guys may take off their shirts in public. I can expect to be flashed men’s pecs, biceps and bellies on a regular basis. But let me say I am thankful that this past weekend in Vancouver included cloudy skies and cooler weather.
It’s nice to have a break from all that flashing.
I admit that it can be pleasant to see a nice set of pecs, bulging guns and six-pack abs. I suspect that many men with these physical assets ascribe to an “if you’ve got ’em, flaunt ’em” mindset. Most of them have to work at maintaining these gifts—yes, there’s usually a god-given base to start with—and I suppose there’s a desire to display what they’ve paid for in terms of protein powders, oatmeal-chicken breast-tuna diets and hours of workouts.
I will also acknowledge that I am naturally biased against flashing. I have had body dysmorphia, ever since having to wear my first Speedo at the age of eight when they seemed to be all the rage in the ’70s. Donning a Speedo was the worst part of being on my high school swim team. I still don a Speedo (a boxer style, not a brief) when I swim laps each week, but I always choose a pool in another area of Vancouver so I can be assured I won’t run into anyone I know. I also don’t linger. No hot tub, thank you very much.
Being anorexic, all the body flashing stokes negative thinking about my own body. I need to be thinner. Why don’t the love handles ever go away? Sigh, any muscle mass I’d attained is fading with age.
This is primetime for body baring at beaches and while jogging outdoors. It was particularly hot in Vancouver last week and so I set out to cycle at 6 a.m. Already there were men walking and running shirtless on the seawall. I suppose my history of melanoma and my propensity to avoid midday sun spare me peak flesh exposure hours. There always seems to be a silver lining to various conditions I have or have had.
Still, there are times, even months beyond summer season, when I feel that being a gay man is particularly daunting for a person who is, in general, flash-averse. This morning in my Facebook feed, some guy in the group Gay Men’s Life After 60 posted a shirtless pic in jean shorts and received 419 likes. God, we really are a needy lot. I often look at a few gay news and writing websites to keep informed, to look for possible ideas for this blog and to consider whether I may have an article or idea to pitch to them. A week ago, I checked out Out Traveler for the first time. For a guy like me, it was a jarring introduction.
The image of a Montreal winter
that NO ONE has.
The first images were of younger gay men in nothing but the tiniest of swimwear. Whether the article was about a hotel, a music festival or even Montreal as a winter vacation spot, it didn’t matter. The photos inviting you to click to read the article all included men who’d misplaced their shirts. I had to scroll down a ways before I found an article about lesbians. The image included smiling women in casual clothing…no one in a swimsuit. The first article about people who are trans featured a photo of a train. But, if something had anything to do with gay men, the requisite photo had to focus on shirtlessness and a decent body. The site only underscored the impression that gay men are shallow and gay “culture” is focused on being young. No, I would not be writing for this site. It was most definitely not a place for me.
I subscribe to notifications for a smaller gay travel website based in Canada, having first been referred to the editor after I’d pitched a travel article to a mainstream travel site. When I clicked on the latest features, I scrolled to the bottom where the editor always posts a short essay related to something about travel. This time his photo featured him without a shirt, showing off a nice chest. I’m sorry, but this seemed an odd choice for an editor’s photo—unprofessional, perhaps. The editor changes his photo each time, but the shirtless one is in regular rotation. Every time I see it I get the feeling this is also not a site I can write for.
Years ago, I had problems with the Advocate’s online presence. When I was coming out in the late ’80s and early ’90s, I subscribed to Advocate magazine. It was a resource for me to read about what was happening in terms of queer rights throughout the U.S., where I lived at the time. I felt it was like a gay version of Time magazine. But as an online site that depended on generating clicks, the publication went through its own shirtless phase. Best photos from Philadelphia Pride! Best shots from London Pride! It was a sure bet that there were plenty of pictures of young and buff gay men in skimpy swim trunks. But perusing the site now, Advocate seems to have mostly gone back to its roots as a source for queer news—several articles about trans rights, a story about the tragedy at Berlin Pride, a few posts about anti-gay politicians. I had to scroll down quite a bit before coming upon a photo of two young, shirtless men for an article from July 16 entitled, “29 nude beaches every gay man should visit.” Gay men…still with a shallow side but less prominently so. Whew, I guess. To be fair CNN published a similar article yesterday, “Dare to bare: 25 of the world’s best nude beaches.” Yes, some people get concerned about tan lines though I’m not sure how that makes a list of nude beaches newsworthy.
I am being picky but the ageism continues on gay sites with this being the lead photo for Advocate’s nude beach piece:
CNN, by contrast, included this pic:
Think I’ll leave it at that. Shirts for all, please. At least in the tote bag.
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