Wednesday, October 17, 2018

TWO GAYS AT A BABY SHOWER...

My cousin, his niece. They’re having a baby. And so we bought our gifts, stuffed them in overpriced (but super cute) gift bags and showed up for the shower. Fifty people—half men, half women—but only two gay guys.

We’d never met before but I could tell he’d been primed. Oh, you’ve got to meet James. He’s funny and smart. And,…he’s single. I got a similar backgrounder file on Rich: outrageously funny, so loving, great fun.

I didn’t need an introduction. My gaydar worked just fine. Presumably so did his because he approached and chatted me up within five minutes of arrival. Nice guy. Same age. We laughed as we sustained a fifteen-minute conversation. That’s an achievement for me since I find chitchat challenging. Even more remarkable: I didn’t feel a layer of sweat coating my forehead or wetting my underarms. I was calm, maybe even charming.

But then maybe it’s because I knew things weren’t going anywhere. I could tell in an instant from his breath he was a smoker. I’ve had a long-term relationship with a smoker and I’m dead certain I never will again. Besides, to hit it off would be complicated and impractical. I’ve started seeing someone else back in Vancouver and the uncle of the mom-to-be lives in Ottawa. So pleasant enough, someone to connect with during future family functions in which cousins and uncles are invited, but nothing more.

None of my relatives or family friends quizzed me later in the day. I could feel eyes on us as we chatted during that first exchange and during two other occasions at the shower, but half my family is still too repressed to ask about anything gay and the other half knows I prefer to keep my thoughts to myself (and to blog readers, of course).

So it ends quietly. The two gays showed at the shower, they brought amazing gifts (as gays do) and they went their separate ways. The main players were fine, but I suspect the armchair gay-watchers left disappointed. It’s bound to happen when your gay pool is so small.



No comments: