Wednesday, September 9, 2009

From AVOID to A VOID

Never make a decision about moving after major breakup. No one ever says that. I guess that’s because you have to make a decision when you’re living with the person. Maybe the rule should be, Never make a decision to relocate from the city where you live.

When I made my exodus from Vancouver, there were sound financial reasons for doing so. The city is the most expensive in Canada—or at least second to West Vancouver. And I stubbornly refused to downsize from house to condo. I put a ferry between me and civilization, telling myself I enjoyed my time alone and had no interest in getting involved in another relationship.

Idiot. That was my Avoid Period. Leave me alone, everyone! Nothing wrong with that when it’s a phase. I made it a lifestyle and it’s been going on for four years now. Somewhere along the way, the Avoid Period mutated into A Void Period. I go back and forth from feeling frustrated to bewildered. I have not felt attracted to a single gay man in years. I don’t even see gay men. I don’t think my gaydar is on the fritz. It just can’t pick up a signal in remote regions.

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