DOES THIS JERSEY MAKE ME GAY?

I suppose it was inevitable that special Pride-themed jerseys will no longer be worn by NHL players. In many ways, it felt like a bold move to have hockey players wear them once a year during a game night warmup. The boldness came from the fact sporting environments are not known for being progressive in terms of LGBTQ acceptance. Locker rooms have long been places where homophobic remarks are frequently made and go unchecked. Being gay has been viewed as the antithesis of being a jock. When I was growing up, people perceived as gay were often called sissies and one major criterion for being perceived as gay was being bad at sports. Homophobia has also been a contributing factor to unfiltered locker room chatter that objectifies women and goes into lurid details about sexual escapades with them. If you didn’t join in, you risked standing out for the “wrong” reasons. What are you…gay? 

 

Still, star athletes are often viewed by large swaths of the public as heroes and role models. This has always seemed like sheer folly to me. Using a stick to swat a puck in a net or to send a ball over the fence means you may have the right skills to compete at a high level in games. It doesn’t mean your thoughts about social justice, climate change or the upcoming “Barbie” movie should be held in high regard. But, in this society, they often are. That’s why it mattered when an entire hockey team did its pre-game skate in shirts with little rainbow icons. Sidney Crosby’s wearing it! Gee, maybe gay’s okay.

 

Obviously, it’s not that simple. Changing long-held views takes time. For many, it’s hard to accept differences when their social and work worlds have little or no representation of those differences. Parts of society continue to be segregated, no longer by legal barriers, but by personal assessments of the need to feel and belong. Sidney Crosby needs to wear that colorful jersey next year and the year after that. That makes it less of a “stunt” and more of an ongoing tradition. Conservatives are big on tradition.

 

While professional teams play in big cities which tend to be more diversely populated and, consequently, more accepting, the games are watched by fans throughout the host state. It’s something to do. (For example, I became a regular watcher of Vancouver Canuck games when I moved to a rural area of BC. Back in Vancouver, I haven’t watched at all.) This is especially important because there are NHL teams in many red states and swing states.

Dallas Stars…Texas

Carolina Hurricanes…North Carolina

Columbus Blue Jackets…Ohio 

Nashville Predators…Tennessee

Vegas Golden Knights…Nevada

Tampa Bay Lightning…Florida

Florida Panthers

Arizona Coyotes

 

That's right, Bud Light.
Deal with it.

An entire hockey squad wearing rainbows, even for a few minutes once a year during the opening skate while bros in man caves crack a beer and rip open a bag of chips, can have an impact. Given that friendship circles, Twitter followers and chosen “news” outlets may fully align with a particular way of thinking, that warmup may be the only exposure to a message that gay is okay.

 

Brendan Burke with his dad.

One of the big forces giving rise to Pride nights is the organization You Can Play which formally came to be in March 2012 as a tribute legacy to Brendan Burke, after he died in a car accident at the age of 21 in 2010. Brendan was the son of NHL coach Brian Burke and was openly gay as a student manager of a hockey team at Ohio’s Miami University. It’s telling as to how rare the intersection of homosexuality and pro hockey were that Brendan got airtime in 2009 on a Canadian sports TV station during a game intermission. Sure, his dad was a big-time name in pro hockey but Brendan wasn’t. The gay son of an NHL coach made news because Brendan was “the closest person to the NHL ever to come out publicly and say that he is gay.” Good on Brendan but a sad statement on professional hockey.

 

After Brendan’s more public coming out, his brother, Patrick, said, “I waited to get a negative email, or to read a damning article, or to hear a snide comment at a game. I waited, and I waited, and I waited ... and I got what I should have expected the entire time: love, support, and admiration.” Ain’t that nice? That was then.

  

In 2013, the Florida Panthers were the first NHL team to have a Pride night. Every team now has a Pride night, but some such events haven’t included players wearing special Pride jerseys which are later auctioned off for charity. Various teams in the league have other themed nights to raise awareness about cancer and to honor people in the military. Hosting a Pride night and wearing these special shirts were good PR until they weren’t.

 

Times have changed. I go back to Patrick’s quote as he braced for hate when his brother came out. It didn’t happen. There were, of course, people who would not have accepted Brendan Burke as a gay man but, even as marriage equality was still playing out, they had the sense to keep their opinions to themselves or to their circle of people who thought like they did.

 

There have long been places for hating on gays and it took on an air of legitimacy with people like Rush Limbaugh having a platform but hate as a rallying cry and as a means to counter political criticism became an arena sport once Trump launched his first presidential campaign. Politics became an alt version of WWE (World Wrestling Entertainment). 

 

“BUILD THAT WALL!” 

“LOCK HER UP!”

 

By golly, you could become a full-fledged club member by purchasing a special red baseball cap. 

 

No healthcare platform? So what. BOOORRRING!  

 

LGBTQ haters are emboldened once again due, in part, to Republican efforts, especially at the state level, to make LGBTQ issues a threat to families. We’re a threat again. We’re sinners and perverts. 

 

Our rights are under attack once again because it’s politically expedient. The Supreme Court struck down Roe v. Wade so there needs to be another ticket item to drum up donations and get people worked up enough to cast votes. Hate on gays—and especially on people who identify as trans—is a no-brainer. 

 

Men in dresses who read picture books will make your kids gay!

Bearded dudes who say they’re trans will check out your wives in women’s restrooms!

Muscled teen boys will take all the blue ribbons meant for your daughters at the local track meet!

 

These fear-based laws are easier to push through Republican-majority legislatures than figuring out how to bring new jobs to the state, deciding what to do about people addicted to Fentanyl or coming up with more funds for maintaining state highways when you’ve promised tax cuts.

 

Yes, professional jocks going for a little skate while wearing rainbows is the right kind of messaging to hit home. 

 

But that’s over. A handful of NHL players refused to wear the jerseys. Some Russian players asserted it would be viewed as a political statement back home, making things difficult for family members there. Non-Russians went with the position that the colorful shirts ran counter to their religious beliefs. I’m going to give these players the benefit of the doubt and assume they were one hundred percent sincere. Free speech, freedom of religion…I’m fine with that. Nobody is 100% liked. Someone probably disliked Betty White. 

 

Here's where it gets tricky. Is the annual pregame skate tarnished by the fact one or two players opt out and stay in the locker room? Does it have to be all or nothing?

 

I would say that having 95% of a pro hockey team that plays in Florida put on a Pride jersey is a very strong statement. Cue Lady Gaga: applause, applause. If we say it was okay for Colin Kaepernick to take a knee during the national anthem—a far bolder act occurring since it involved one of America’s most patriotic rituals—it’s okay for Eric Staal or brother Marc to be out of sight during a game warmup.

 

The focus on the exception rather than the overwhelming majority created snappy online news stories and allowed for Twitter rants spewing hate about homophobic players who refused to come out…of the locker room. Suddenly, a lot of people who think like me had tweets to “like” and retweet. Hate shows up on both sides. 

 

Again, 95% of a group of professional jocks slipped on a shirt that said, in hockey, You Can Play. As another Pride Night slogan says, Hockey Is For Everyone. That’s big in a league that has yet to have a single openly gay player play a single game. (Luke Prokop came out in 2021. He was drafted by the Nashville Predators but thus far has only played for farm clubs of the Western Hockey League.) The Pride jersey photo op is good for fans and it’s good for closeted players who may inch closer to coming out, if not in the press, then at least to one or two teammates, perhaps eventually to the whole squad. That can do wonders for their mental health.

 

Unfortunately, the flak from a few players bowing out of the colorful pre-game fashion show made NHL bigwigs antsy. What began as good PR was turning into bad PR. It highlighted the problem that the league has had all along: despite “You Can Play” and “Hockey Is For Everyone,” the organization couldn’t hold up a single Duck, Shark or Flame as a gay spokesperson. Gay Penguins were for picture books, gay Stars for Ryan Murphy productions. Jersey nights were window dressing without any substance behind it. Was the possible homophobia of a few players the truer character of the league?

 

And so it ended. No more jersey nights. Not for Pride nor for military appreciation nor for cancer. Rather than staying strong behind a display of near-total solidarity in wearing flashy jerseys that meant something, NHL owners threw in the towel. When something’s easy, all aboard. When a few dissidents created a little heat, there wasn’t enough conviction to take a strong stand. The cause isn’t important enough. As NHL commissioner Gary Bettman said, “[I]t’s become a distraction.” Pride nights can continue but NHL players won’t be part of it. 

 

Huh. 

 

Feels like getting hit in the mouth with a puck. What’s left is a toothless expression. 

__________

        [To read You Can Play's response to the cancellation of 

        jersey nights, click here.]

JOCK TWITCH

Jocks aren’t gay. Been that way since the beginning of time. Everyone knows that.

Don’t mistake the manly hugs and affectionate locker room nicknames for anything but team spirit, that extra oomph that might mean The Cup, The Ring, The Title will finally come this year. Yes, we all love Kesler (“Kes”, because Kesler really is a mouthful), but in the manliest of ways. It’s about body checks, dekes and goals and certainly has nothing to do with this.

There has never been an openly gay, active player in the NHL, the NFL, the NBA or Major League Baseball. Never. Like I said, jocks aren’t gay.

Oh, there was an injured minor league rugby or soccer or hacky sack player from England or Belgium or Brazil who came out last year. It generated a lot of buzz on the internet for about ten minutes. Eve

n when I view the world with fuchsia-colored glasses, I know that’s not much. It doesn’t set the precedent that prompts elite athletes to blow kisses in the stands at ever-loyal best buds named Chaz or Stewart.

Australian Matthew Mitcham won gold at the 2008 Olympics. That should have amounted to something. But, of course, it didn’t. Divers shave their bodies, strut about in teensy Speedos and spend too much of their day practicing pointing their toes. Diving isn’t much of a sport. Everyone knows cannonballs make a bigger splash.

Even Johnny Weir, donning a flamboyant getup at the 2010 Winter Olympics in Vancouver played coy over his sexuality. Why should he admit to anything? Save it for the income-generating book when he’s relegated to being the warmup act at the ice capades.

After retirement, jocks can stray. Every so often a retiree will hold a press conference, announcing he is gay. (Yes, it’s usually a brief public statement. “I talk about it in depth in my forthcoming memoir.” Only retirees say things like forthcoming.) How do current jocks handle the coming out party of a retired jock? Not sure but I wonder if it can be attributed to a side effect from frequent concussions. I mean, something’s gotta be messed up according to jock logic.

Okay, so let’s review: jocks are not gay.

But wait, you say, what if they are? A few, at least. If not ten percent, then maybe one or two. Gosh golly, it must be pretty uncomfortable for them in the locker room. Maybe even more uncomfortable than it would be for the straight jocks, unknowingly showering alongside closeted gay jocks.

Hooboy, someone insert a dropping-the-soap joke. (That never gets old.)

Yes, I have no doubt that locker rooms are among the last bastions of sanctioned homophobia. Behind closed doors, I am sure many coaches resort to references about “playing like girls” and “queer/fag/gay” references to the opposing team. All that after-the-whistle trash talk on the field/rink/court? If the guys had mikes attached to their jerseys, I am certain we’d hear all sorts of gay putdowns.

That is why I find the newly launched You Can Play campaign a small, yet significant step forward. Regardless of what you think of Toronto Maple Leafs’ Brian Burke as a general manager or an ex-coach, I give him kudos for stepping up with his son Patrick to honor Brendan Burke, Brian’s gay son who died in a car accident on February 5, 2010. Burke made headlines by appearing in Toronto’s Gay Pride parade in 2009 with Brendan and in 2010 and 2011 in Brendan’s honor. For many, that might have been enough. But the Burkes have continued their public advocacy of accepting homosexuality. Their first commercial featuring a number of NHL players sends a simple message. Hockey is about skills. Sexuality is irrelevant. Gay or straight, just play.

The initiative supposedly finds some of its inspiration from the It Gets Better project, but I admit that “If you can play, you can play” message feels watered down, similar to the Don’t ask, don’t tell “breakthrough” that Clinton negotiated with the U.S. military twenty years ago. (Yes, back then, it was real progress.) The reality is that professional sports are significantly behind the times. Yet this is a starting point.

The website explains that the initiative aims to end “casual homophobia” that occurs on sports teams. By “casual”, the message is that most athletes are not blatantly homophobic; rather, the gay taunts are part of institutionalized trash talk banter, comparable to “That’s so gay” references heard in hallways in many high schools. While I do not find any homophobic remark to be casual, I acknowledge that this campaign first attempts to raise a consciousness about what players and coaches say. In time, the rhetoric may be eliminated. Looking forward, there may come a time when active athletes, revered by many, may step forward and come out. Imagine the positive impact this will have.

I see that as a long way away. But progress often begins with a single step, however small. If and when more athletes from a range of sports join in the campaign, more small steps will be made toward ending sports-sanctioned homophobia. In time, a series of small steps may amount to a considerable distance moving forward.

Thank you to the Burke family for taking the lead.