SEARCHING FOR ANYTHING

NOTE: This is a follow-up Post-Date blog entry after I'd put up a Pre-Date entry earlier in the day.

Not Naughty. Not even close.

Just wrapped my second date with Wade, one that followed a six-week break from the first and, well, if it didn’t fizzle, it didn’t crackle either.

People have insinuated that, since I’ve been single for a decade, I must be too picky. That comment heckles me as I feel a date going absolutely nowhere. And in response, I prod myself. Give him a chance. Tim Gunn even makes a cameo appearance in my head: Make it work.

And so, despite having a sense five minutes in that this would be a flat date, I gave him four hours of chances. The conversation remained polite the entire time. To be sure, Wade is handsome, fit and intelligent. But there just wasn’t a connection. As much as we talked, it never seemed like we found common ground, building on each other’s thoughts. Neither of us playfully touched the other’s arm and I felt no urge to hug him or kiss him. Not once did either one of us laugh.

It could be that he’s too formal. And it could also be that so am I. But I’d felt a breakthrough on a recent date when I’d reached across the table and touched the guy’s arm. I could have done the same at dinner tonight. The thought crossed my mind, but the desire wasn’t there.

At the end of the date, Wade stated that he was interested in seeing me again. He wanted to see how things might evolve. “We’re both adults though,” he said. “If either of us isn’t feeling it, we should be able to say it or take it.” That’s the familiar out that we give the other person in the early stages. I’ve said the same thing. Here’s your opening to run for your life.

And I failed to speak up. Maybe another chance. Maybe he’s even more reserved than I am. Maybe there is a fun person in there somewhere.

For this date, I’d done something I’d never done before. I stuffed a toothbrush and deodorant in my backpack. Just in case. But, alas. It ended with a hug and a quick lip peck. Physically, there was no chance it could have been anything more.

At least I can have fresh breath and spinach-free teeth for the ferry ride home. For tonight, that’s as good as it gets.