WANTED: THE BAD GUY

The second guy I fell in love with was deeply flawed. (Oh, and I was so perfect.) He’d managed to kick a severe cocaine addiction and had reconstructive surgery on his damaged nose—a standard procedure in L.A. Call it a spa day. Cigarettes and booze replaced coke and he engaged in a number of risky behaviors. He said I liked his wild side, an exacerbating contention that allowed him to be complacent about change and continued to mask the layers of awesomeness I knew existed within.

It is out there though. How often do you hear about people falling for the bad guy? There is some truth to all that talk about the guy next door, that nice guy, finishing last. I swear though, I have never wanted someone with a wild side.  Teensy ankle tattoos of ladybugs used to scare me. Eating uncooked cookie dough is about as risky as it needs to get, thank you very much.

I will admit, however, to crushing on a bad guy once. There was no need for an intervention though because he appeared on the big screen. I have never seen him in person, never purchased a Star Map and staked out his house. Heck, I am rather certain he’s never been a marquee name on celebrity tours.

But he caught my eye in one little movie, an Oscar-nominated flick from 1990.  “Ghost”. I know I am not the only one taken by an actor in the movie. “Entertainment Tonight” put Patrick Swayze in heavy rotation and “People” upped newsstand sales with the star gracing covers. Women enrolled in pottery classes, hoping a himbo would guide them hand-over-hand, body against body in making a lovely ashtry or pinch pot.

I recall being shocked that “People” dubbed Patrick Swayze “Sexiest Man Alive” the following year. He wasn’t even the sexiest man in “Ghost”. While American swooned over Swayze, I was gaga for Goldwyn. That’s right, the guy who played Carl Bruner, the supposed best friend, the scheming criminal, the guy who tries to kill Sam’s beloved Molly and everyone’s favorite fortune teller, Oda Mae Brown. Bad, Carl. Bad!

And, oh, I was in lust.

Despite the bad boy role, Tony Goldwyn projected a hunky sex appeal—soft spoken, sensitive and possessing my standard physical lures: great hair and pronounced pecs. Having more than a year of West Hollywood clubbing under my belt, I was certain my gaydar was properly tuned. Tony Goldwyn had to be gay. (Alas, these were pre-Wikipedia days. A quick search today reveals Tony has been married to the same woman since 1989. Even while in the Gay Immersion Program, I couldn’t get things right!)

I was certain Tony Goldwyn would be the next A-list actor to compete with Tom Cruise (never saw the appeal) for starring roles in blockbusters or, better yet, to scoop up the Tom Hanks cast-offs in romantic comedies. Sadly, Tony never completely broke through. He continued to land supporting roles in a few big movies like “The Pelican Brief” and “Nixon” and he has worked steadily in the business. He’s now the President of the United States, at least on TV’s “Scandal”, but I have lost interest. It just goes to show that people needn’t overreact when their friends fancy the bad guy. Eventually, things sort themselves out.