tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7857795538755708479.post7152635233485195056..comments2024-03-26T08:11:26.710-07:00Comments on AGING GAYLY : INAPPROPRIATE POKINGAging Gaylyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09886888900957765438noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7857795538755708479.post-84172967190524884742013-09-13T21:47:19.886-07:002013-09-13T21:47:19.886-07:00Thanks for the comment, Jack. Very few of us have ...Thanks for the comment, Jack. Very few of us have an accurate perception of the way we look. I've known a couple of guys with an inflated sense of self but, more often than not, we underrate ourselves.<br /><br />I try not to self-edit my posts because I think many other gay men can relate to never feeling like they are quite up to snuff. My recent trip to L.A. immersed me in a subculture of perfect bodies, a pleasing yet tortuous backdrop for normal guys like me. I feel I am a gentle soul with a decent sense of humor, but that doesn't usually surface as people formulate first impressions.<br /><br />Much of my humor is self-deprecating. I had this photo taken by a friend as we walked through the Los Angeles County Museum of Art. There was some thought provoking quote stenciled on the wall and I insisted she photograph me with just the "Not Quite" in view. It is supposed to be humorous but it also reflects my dating experiences over the past nine years.<br /><br />I trudge on...Aging Gaylyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09886888900957765438noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7857795538755708479.post-7803109979693806562013-09-04T15:22:56.387-07:002013-09-04T15:22:56.387-07:00A very engaging and (as always) entertaining post....A very engaging and (as always) entertaining post. But here’s the thing: your photo, posted under the heading “not quite,” seems to belie the point you keep arguing in post after post, i.e., that you’re physically not good enough—or at least, not quite. Not yet. I know it’s just a single snapshot, but I have to say it: that photo in no way supports your thesis. In fact, unless photo-editing technology has reached new levels of falsification, it seems pretty obvious that you’re a good-looking guy. And fit! So I can’t help wondering—and I’m drawing on experience here—if you aren’t suffering from a peculiar form of astigmatism common to those of us who suffer from body image issues: we don’t, or can’t, see ourselves accurately. We're forever disappointed by what we see in the mirror, even when others think we look pretty damned good. And wouldn’t it be funny if that were true and we’re expending all that effort, all that sweat, running all those miles, lifting all those weights—feeling all that needless *off-putting* shame and embarrassment—for naught?Jack Urquharthttp://www.jaurquhart.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7857795538755708479.post-29174376773063792352013-08-16T10:50:28.852-07:002013-08-16T10:50:28.852-07:00Hi Rick,
Thanks for your positive thoughts. I do n...Hi Rick,<br />Thanks for your positive thoughts. I do not regret sending Nicholas a message. It was worth a shot.<br /><br />The frustration comes as I feel time ticking on. Nine years and then some. L.A. represented possibility although the visit was too short. No idea when the next opportunity will come along.<br /><br />I did surprise myself in stepping forward, talking to Nicholas and even messaging him. That represents growth. Desperation breeds boldness! Aging Gaylyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09886888900957765438noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7857795538755708479.post-53145238362702967832013-08-13T22:38:32.456-07:002013-08-13T22:38:32.456-07:00RG, in my opinion, you're taking on too much h...RG, in my opinion, you're taking on too much here, and you're being too hard on yourself. <br />So you supposedly stalked (your word) Nicholas. If I were him, I would have felt so complimented that someone was interested in me. And you know what? If the feeling wasn't mutual, all he had to do was say "thanks, but no thanks." That would have been the classy thing to do. <br />I give you full marks for what you did. It's a different world now. People put stuff out there on the Internet. All of it becomes resources for the rest of us. If they don't want us to know it or have access to it, then they should keep it to themselves. <br />What harm was done? As far as I can tell, none whatsoever. You'll be back home, he'll be in Palmdale, and life will go on. <br />Nothing ventured, nothing gained, right? <br />It took courage to do what you did, and I likely would have done the same.<br />Don't let this deter you. You acted from a pure place, and no one can fault you for that. His lack of a reaction says more about him than what you did says about you.<br />Just saying… <br /> Rick Modienhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02157314737543591048noreply@blogger.com